Birthday

I came back earlier from Germany especially for that day – or rather that night: Twentytwo’s birthday. I spent the day cooking, baking, decorating and making myself presentable. I was very much determined to make it a special night for us and I prepared myself to take a lot of pain. I put on his favourite maid’s uniform and tried to be well-behaved and attentive.

When I lay on the bed after dinner and he started tying me up the complaints started. Somehow it just didn’t feel right. The rope was too tight and my position too uncomfortable. I was hot and sweating underneath the PVC dress. For some reason I couldn’t get into the right headspace, even though twentytwo had sent me the beginning of a very interesting story/scenario that he wanted to act out. I always struggle a little bit with role plays as I most like to be dominated by the man I love, not by a random pimp, king, master, teacher or whatever people come up with. However I liked the story and the way he talked to me and touched my body certainly got my juices flowing.

Maybe I put myself under too much pressure, but when he actually started hitting me with various implements, I just wasn’t ready for it. I didn’t like it, it hurt and it wasn’t fun. I didn’t even feel like enduring it for the sake of his pleasure. The magic wand just brought more pain and 6 forced orgasms that I didn’t enjoy whatsoever – despite my general orgasm-addiction. I felt like the biggest failure in the world when he untied me fairly soon and told me to come into the living room after having calmed down. I curled up in the bed and gave myself some time to recover.

The moment I walked into the living room it was almost like entering a different world. I was suddenly feeling incredibly submissive and after taking a sip of water I could only kneel down with my eyes closed, not being able to speak or think. I doubt that I’ve ever given a blow-job during which my whole world only evolved around his cock before. I always love feeling his cock in my mouth, but this time it almost felt like a religious act, like something sacred. When he started fucking me I was already in some other place… Very intense sensations, no thoughts, lots of screaming, lots of orgasms.

When he was done with me I couldn’t do anything but lie on the bed and float around in my subspace, somehow wishing the feeling would never end. I didn’t mind that he left me alone after making sure I was alright, stroking my head and kissing me lightly. I drifted off into an amazingly content sleepy state until he woke me up over an hour later.

I don’t know if this evening was in any way satisfying for him, but despite the difficult start, the result was a very unusual surprise for me. Looking back I can’t tell if I really was as much of a wimp as I thought I was, or if he actually hit me quite hard. I don’t know if he intended me to cry and beg and plead and not enjoy myself at all. I can’t tell if I pleased him or not. The joys of our dynamic. I never know anything for sure and it fascinates me more than I want to admit.

Happy birthday.